


Yesterday, Again

by crawltothemoon (033120)



Category: The Good Doctor (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:40:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23979136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/033120/pseuds/crawltothemoon
Summary: Life is a dance of love and loss. If you have the chance, would you like to dance again?
Relationships: Audrey Lim/Neil Melendez
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

_It seems like I've lost everything._

* * *

_**L**_ ife has been a routine of several meetings and a couple of surgeries for Audrey. When she first became the Chief of Surgery over a year ago, she struggled to accept the administrative aspect of her position. As a trauma surgeon she enjoyed the thrill of opening people up to fix whatever went wrong with them. Upon her promotion, she found herself holding papers and laptop more than her own scalpel and stethoscope.

She didn't complain though, for achieving this position in her career is such a huge accomplishment for her. She figured she'll learn to adapt to it soon.

But the way Audrey learned to adapt wasn't the way she had expected. Instead, attending board meetings and staying most of the time in her office to face paperworks became her quiet escape.

She put on a brave face against the lingering grief she felt from Neil's death a few months ago. To some, she looked like she was on her way to moving on... to accepting his untimely death. What they didn't know was she's barely on the first stage of grief - denial.

She knowingly avoids surgeries for now and only accepts cases when greatly needed. To her, putting on her scrubs and running around the hospital brings her to a painful trip to the past.

The hallways remind her of the times when she walked alongside Neil. The break room and the on call room holds a lot of fond memories from their residency years. The emergency room and operating room where she had spent most of her time with Neil here in St. Bonaventure. The wards, ICUs, and even the cafeteria where they used to eat with fellow residents before all looked so empty to her even when it's full of people.

Everywhere she turned, she would remember him.

For a doctor like her, accepting death should be easy for her. She handles life and death all the time and sometimes it doesn't have a happy ending. She lost a lot of patients before. She had her own fair share of difficult times accepting deaths of patients she could have prevented from dying. She was able to overcome that.

But Neil wasn't an ordinary patient. He was Neil. Her Neil. Neil is... was her best friend, an annoying rival and colleague, a former lover and probably her greatest heartache.

Although they have parted ways, her last conversation with Neil on his deathbed confirmed their true feelings towards each other. Their love had survived and was very alive against all the issues work life had thrown at them. They hadn't stopped loving each other even when apart. And if only time wasn't cruel with them, if only he survived his injury, then they could have made their promise of a lifetime together a reality.

Audrey realized Neil was the one for her. He was the one person she was waiting for to break through her walls of fear and doubts against a committed relationship. He was it. And she realized it a little too late.

_'I could have spent a lifetime drinking whiskey with you,'_

A subtle proposal that fate never gave chance to become a reality. But Audrey knew what the answer was in her heart. A day after his funeral she went back to visit his grave. She sat down and poured whiskey on his grave while drinking her own share. It would later become a tradition she does every time she misses him.

And for now, she had to struggle finding a new normal working at St Bonaventure without a Neil Melendez around.

...

Audrey was at the ER when a first year resident asked her for a consult. The resident has a patient with her and had already paged Dr. Park when she saw the chief.

"What is wrong with the patient?" she asked the young doctor, one of the new faces at the hospital.

"Driver of the head-on collision. He arrived with a BP of 110/56 after one liter of normal saline, heart rate 101, O2 sat is 92%..." she read robotically the patient's chart as Dr. Park arrived at the scene.

"He has a GCS of 12 and his lungs were negative of any acute injury. But the nurse told me he's got a fever and an abnormal lactic acid," Dr. Park stated.

Audrey exchanged glances with Dr. Park, a quiet understanding of what the patient must be suffering from. And also another quiet moment to remember someone they knew who died from it.

"Sepsis and trauma is a bad pair and you should always watch out for the signs of it," Audrey advised the young resident as she nodded to Dr. Park to take charge. Of all her residents, she could rely on Dr. Park to follow her footsteps as a trauma surgeon. The rest of his co-residents might be going on a different specialty instead.

During her training, her mentor had drilled her head many times on how to recognize and prevent sepsis to her patients. She had familiarized herself to it which made her be a better trauma surgeon. Still it remains a morbid condition she couldn't prevent when not treated immediately.

It also made her think back to that earthquake a few months ago. Had she been the one who examined Neil, she could have recognized it immediately and would have forced him to go back to the hospital and get treated quickly. Even if he insisted to stay she would rather argue with him just to make sure he gets the proper treatment. She could have prevented his death.

_No blame._

Audrey agreed for his peace of mind but it was easier said than done. He wasn't here to comfort her anymore when her thoughts betray her. He's not here to tease her that will have a hard time trying to get rid of him. He's not here to argue with her that he made the right choice to stay and help with the situation instead of getting treated. He's not here, period. And it wasn't okay no matter how hard she tries to be.

 _No blame_.

If only her work right now wasn't keeping her busy she will have plenty of time to blame herself. She hated that she couldn't save him out of all the patients she had, why Neil? She had performed miracles among her patients, why can't she do the same to the most important patient she ever had?

_No blame._

_'Fine Neil I wouldn't blame myself,'_ she bargained to her thoughts. _'But can I blame someone instead?'_

 _'The thought of you not being around wasn't okay with me,'_ she repeated his own words. Ironic it is that it was him missing now.

...

She released an exhausted sigh when the elevator door closed. She can't wait until she is inside the safety of her office once again. That patient at the ER gave her mind a lot of things to overthink again. Grief was hard to handle especially when you try to ignore it.

"Busy day?" a voice of an old lady suddenly spoke to her. Audrey realized that she wasn't alone inside the elevator. She didn't notice her when she entered the lift because she was absentminded the whole time.

She put on a weak smile and nodded.

"Breathe and rest for a minute doctor. You'll need it," she advised.

"Life's a bit fast paced here to rest ma'am," she politely replied.

"But life is fleeting as well. One moment a patient goes for a consult and the next thing she knew she's hooked up to these machines that tries to prolong her life,"

Audrey glanced at her wondering if the old lady was speaking from a personal experience. But she's speaking the truth, this hospital is the perfect place to understand how fragile life is.

Somewhere in the maternity ward is a couple celebrating the birth of their first son while five floors up is a daughter holding her father's hand in his last moments. Somewhere at the hospital lobby a man is welcomed by his family as he finally gets discharged after getting a clean bill of health while a child from the ER is being moved up to the ICU as his condition worsens. Someone goes for a routine checkup and finds out she's got a few months to live.

"Life is a dance of love and loss my dear, if you have the chance to dance again would you be willing to dance?"

She doesn't know her personally but Audrey felt the old lady could read and understand her life just by looking at her eyes. She finds herself smiling gently and answering, "I'm not a dancer but I would be willing to dance with the right person."

The old lady just flashes a kind smile at her and at the same time the elevator door opens to her floor. She gently pats her and makes her exit.

 _'That was weird'_ Audrey thought but it got her into deep thoughts when she noticed an old wristwatch was lying on the floor. She guessed the old lady owned it but she couldn't really run after her now that the elevator had gone it's way up. She decided to keep it and maybe she'll bump into her once again someday. If it is a prized possession she will come and find her in this hospital anyway.

She put it inside her pocket and got off on her floor. She was meters away from her office when she got a message from an unknown number telling her to come down the ER. Confused and slightly annoyed since she had just been there a few minutes ago, she didn't have any choice but to go back.

Riding the elevator again, she pushed the buttons that lead to the floor of the emergency room. The elevator doors brought her there once again and she could feel the life and death buzzing in and out of the ER.

She approached one nurse and asked her why they needed her again. She didn't address her curiosity that she didn't get paged to the emergency room anymore since she became chief of surgery unless it's a real trauma case. _Well, I'm a trauma surgeon._ One person had said she's one of the best trauma surgeons in the country and so she wants to continue proving it while being the Chief.

"Oh hi Dr. Lim, they want you at bay 3," said by the nurse she hadn't seen in awhile. She didn't have the chance to ask why she was gone because the nurse had disappeared once again to attend to another patient.

She went to bay 3 and was greeted by a familiar scene. Two nurses were waiting for her and as they explained to her the patient's condition as told by the EMT that brought him there, Audrey felt a sense of deja vu.

She stared at the patient's face trying to remember him among the many patients that went through her care over the years. He looked familiar. Maybe one of the patients she referred to other doctors from the ER.

Upon checking the patient and getting a proper diagnosis of his condition. It was clear to Audrey that the patient wasn't for her. Since the patient has heart issues, she would naturally call a cardio thoracic surgeon for this. Her heart clenched upon remembering that Neil wasn't around anymore. _Another moment that makes her miss him more._ But it's not the right place to mope over his absence so she snaps herself into action. Since they don't have someone to replace him yet, she called for the fellows and a general surgeon to check on this patient instead.

"Heart rate 36," they relay the information to her as she listens to the slow heart beat of the patient.

"Push another five milligrams of morphine and prep a nitro drip. We need atropine on board stat," Audrey ordered the nurses as she hung her stethoscope around her neck. She heard familiar footsteps behind her. _'Here comes the surgeon that they should have called instead of me, the chief,'_ she thought.

"What do you got for me?" a familiar voice asked her. She knew that voice very well which made her spin around to the direction of the speaker.

She froze seeing him standing in front of her. She thought she was just hallucinating or imagining him but he was very real. He was very alive and she couldn't believe her eyes.

_This is impossible. You're going crazy Audrey!_

"What's wrong?" Neil whispered as he was confused by Audrey's surprised expression upon seeing him.

She slowly shook her head, "N-nothing," she lied. Everything was wrong and she couldn't understand it. Why is he standing before her alive when she had witnessed his body being buried six feet to the ground before? Is this one of her wicked dreams at night that brings her back to the good old days with Neil?

_'I'm trying to make peace with his death but why do you make it so hard for me?!'_

Adding to her confusion was seeing Dr. Kalu among the residents that followed Neil that moment. The original trio arrived and she had no choice but to pretend that the situation was normal to her. Besides, Neil was looking at him in worry now.

"An MI with severe bradycardia. He's had aspirin, nitro, and now we're trying to give him a real rate with atropine," she told him in a voice that sounded like reading a script.

"Did cardiology see him?" he asked. He wasn't convinced by Audrey pretending to sound okay but they have a patient before them so he decided he's going to find out about it later.

"He's got a broken pacemaker and probably needs his coronary arteries cleared. Feels like a triple bypass, but you're the expert," she stated before making her swift exit from the scene. Neil would have followed her by his eyes but his attention was pulled back by his residents.

Audrey ran out of the ER and to a quiet corner to compose herself. _What is happening?_ Her hand unconsciously finds her pocket and brings out the wrist watch she found earlier. She examined it and it doesn't only tell the time but the date as well. The watch was right on time but the date was wrong. _November 13, 2017._ It was almost three years behind. She looked at her phone to get the right date, because honestly she doesn't really remember what date today is.

She almost dropped her phone when it showed the same date as the watch. _It's the year 2020 already?! What the hell is happening?_

"Audrey,"

Neil found her again and despite the urge to wrap her arms around him because she missed him so much, her confusion and fear of what is currently happening prevailed.

She took a few steps backwards as he approached her. _'Stop playing with my feelings. I know that I could never have him back again. Please,'_ she closed her eyes and quietly pleaded before turning her back and running towards the stairs to the privacy of her office.

When she reached the floor she could have run all the way towards the Chief's office at the end of the hallway but one thing caught her attention. She slowly walked towards the directory placed beside the elevator.

She found her name written above Neil's. _This is wrong._ They had quickly removed his name when he died. It pained her to witness that and be the one to order the hospital staff to do that. But that wasn't the only thing wrong in here. Her name was written here indicating her office was in the opposite direction, back to her old office when she was an attending surgeon.

And the Chief of Surgery was still Dr Andrews.

Audrey felt her knees go weak in disbelief.


	2. Chapter 2

_It is a nightmare. I don't want to wake up forever._

* * *

Audrey was still staring at Neil's name plate in disbelief when she felt the buzzing of her pager. A code blue with one of her patients. She doesn't remember who and what is the patient's case as this is not her time but she rushed to the emergency anyway. That's what Dr. Lim of this timeline would do.

 _'What the hell? What am I saying in this timeline? Time travel is not real!'_ Audrey argued with her thoughts.

_'But how could you explain seeing Neil very alive in person?'_

"This is just a wicked nightmare," Audrey whispered to herself as she ran towards the wards. _'Just a nightmare that constantly reminds me of the things that I wasted. The memories that haunt me awake at night have invaded my dreams now,'_

Audrey let herself go with the flow of the situation. She let the adrenaline rush guide her and maybe in the middle of it she'll finally wake up in her bed alone and lonely again.

She arrived at the scene as one of the nurses was doing CPR to the patient in his mid-40s. Audrey was about to open her mouth to ask the nurse when the door slid open again revealing Dr. Melendez. Standing closely together they held each other's gazes. Her eyes still in disbelief while he is in confusion.

But the scene isn't one in the movies where time would stop for the two of them. Nurse Villanueva's voice broke their eye contact as she brought back the two doctors to the current emergency before them.

"We shocked him at 150 for a v-fib arrest. He still looks to be in v-fib," she relayed the information to them. "Last shock was delivered a minute and a half ago."

"Have you given any meds yet?" Melendez inquired as he observed the situation.

"No meds yet. We do have IV access." Nurse Petringa responded.

"Give epi," Lim ordered as she assisted the nurse at the bedside.

"One milligram of epi in," Nurse Villanueva responded.

"Looks like we have a good airway," Lim observed.

"At pulse check we are gonna switch compressors,"

"Looks like its v-fib. Let's go ahead and shock," said Lim.

"Charging at 200 joules, everybody stands clear," Nurse Petringa announced. Shock was delivered to the patient accompanied by the beeping sounds of the machine. After that they resumed doing CPR.

"10 seconds till pulse check," Melendez said looking at his wristwatch. Moments later, "pulse check?" he looked at Lim.

She observed the situation. "He has a pulse with compressions," she replied to him. "Hold compressions," she told the nurse before hanging her stethoscope around her neck and stepping away from the bed.

"Good job guys. Lets secure the airway and," she paused and caught Neil's inquiring eyes, "call the ICU,"

"Sorry I was late," Neil apologized as he came closer to her. "We got a missing patient, my residents were looking for that elderly patient you referred a while ago."

"So that explains why none of your residents were here to assist your patient," she said. "Anyway, you can handle his transfer to ICU now,"

"I will," he replied, not breaking their eye contact.

Looking again at the eyes of the person she loves so much, her heart clenched in pain knowing that once she wakes up from this nightmare, she'll miss him more. She'll never get over the heartache of losing him.

She forced herself to step away even though she badly wants to stay by his side forever. As she pushed the door to make her exit, Neil called her name again causing her to turn back around.

"Are you really okay?" he's not yet over her weird actions earlier.

Audrey felt her eyes water as his concerned eyes fall again on her. But she couldn't break down right in front of him. She's so confused with everything, from her feelings to the people around her.

She also knew that the nurses can hear their conversation even as they prepare the patient to move upstairs. Besides, wherever she is, Dr. Lim never shows weakness in front of many people.

She released a deep breath before giving Neil a soft smile only reserved for him, she told him, "I will be fine," She repeated that lie she said to him on his deathbed during one of their last conversations.

_Maybe that's why Neil keep haunting her dreams because she lied._

It will be long before she will be totally fine.

And she doesn't have anything to do but to endure the longing.

She stayed behind for a few moments standing near the nurse's station watching Neil from a distance. Audrey wanted to preserve that memory of him being a good doctor to his patients if she's going to wake up from this thing that is happening to her.

"Nooo. It wasn't a dream!" she overheard a nurse giggling to her colleague as they gossiped in between their shift.

Audrey frowned and looked around her. Everything is so vivid. He glanced back at Neil and he looked so real. _'It wasn't a dream nor a nightmare. You didn't fall asleep in that elevator and suddenly began dreaming of your dead lover. Audrey this is real,'_ a voice in her head said.

"Then how could I travel to the past? How could this be possible?" Audrey whispered to no one. She began to feel chills all over her body. In her long years of studying to be a surgeon, she'd learnt every complicated lessons science could teach her and still nothing could explain this situation to her.

She felt eyes on her so she turned around to see a lone figure staring at her few feet away. It was that strange old lady.

When their eyes met the old lady gave her a faint smile as if giving a sign that she recognizes her. And then she suddenly turned around and left.

"Wait…" Audrey called after her as she moved past the people going in and out of the ward to catch up with the old lady. _Maybe she is the answer to all my questions._

She reached the spot where the old lady stood a minute ago and she saw her going towards the elevator. So she ran as fast as she could. She had never met that old lady in the past and if this thing is a repeat of her past, why is she seeing her right now?

Panting from running, she put her hand between the elevator doors to prevent it from fully closing. The door opened again to let her enter.

The old lady was standing at the corner looking at her with that kind face but with eyes full of wisdom.

"It's you… we have met before," Audrey said slowly trying not to frighten the old lady.

She just nodded in confirmation. "You understand what is happening my child?" she asked kindly.

"I don't," she admitted. "I'm in between believing this is all a nightmare. The memories of the past that I couldn't go back to haunts me,"

"Nightmare? Shouldn't it be a dream because he's alive in this moment? Why are you calling it a nightmare?"

"He is dead. I can't keep fooling myself or I'll go crazy," she said in anguish. "I saw his death with my own eyes. And to keep Neil appearing in my dreams like this is hurting me. It is a nightmare because he will never intend to hurt me like this."

_He told me 'no blame' so he would let me move on in peace carrying his best memories._

"You are right. He wouldn't intend to hurt you. Men can be an idiot sometimes but he wouldn't let you carry this pain for a lifetime," the old lady said. "But you were wrong in saying this is in your dreams…. or perhaps your nightmare."

Audrey's brows furrowed in confusion so she explained. "You are in the past Audrey. Right where we are standing right now is the key to the past that you are longing for… "

Before Audrey opened her mouth to deny that, the old lady held her hand up to stop her. "You can deceive anyone with your words but your eyes speaks what your heart wants. You want him back… so much….And I can help you with that,"

"Who are you? And how can you do this? Why me?" Audrey frowned.

"You don't need to know me and why this is all happening. It won't be important at all once you're there,"

Audrey didn't respond and judging by the look on her face she is still suspicious of the old lady despite the supernatural things that happened.

The old lady smiled at her. She pushed the button of the nearest floor and the elevator stopped. The doors opened revealing the floor of one of the busiest wards in St. Bonaventure.

"Look…" the old lady glanced at her right and Audrey followed her gaze to a further distance. At the end of the hallway she saw him. Neil was standing while talking to Jessica. They seemed to be in a serious discussion judging by their faces.

She saw Jessica shook her head and stepped away from Neil. His gaze followed her retreating figure before going back to the patient's chart in his hand.

Audrey scanned her memories trying to remember this in the past. She wasn't present in this scene but she could confidently guess it was close to the day the engagement broke. Neil had previously told the story of his breakup with Jessica with her during one of their drinking sessions.

"If I told you that you could have a second chance with him would you take it?" the old lady asked. "You could go back to the past and make this promised lifetime a reality,"

Audrey glanced back at the lonely figure of Neil. She wanted to tell him that he wouldn't be sad in few months time. She wanted to tell him that his breakup with Jessica wouldn't be the end of his dreams… that there's still a possibility of him being a dad and raising a family.

She could be that person who'll spend a lifetime of ups and downs, of laughter and tears, of teasings and arguments.. with him it is all worth it.

And then she remembered their own breakup and his untimely death. Her hand gripped the edge of her coat tightly.

"At what cost?" the elevator doors closed again and she looked at the old lady before her. "Surely there would be consequences right?"

The lady grinned. "This time travel isn't complicated like those superhero movies you love. You just simply go back to the past and begin living in that timeline. Your different actions would create a different future and the original future you came from would cease to exist."

"Take the time to decide for it. If you choose to accept make sure it's worth it. This one chance I'm giving you is precious. Not everybody is given a chance to fix their mistakes," she advised before stepping out of the elevator when it stopped once again.

Audrey stood alone inside the elevator as she thought deeply. What her eyes had seen and experienced today was enough for her to convince that it is all real.

The elevator finally stopped on her office floor and as she stepped out of it she could see the difference. Right now the hallway towards the offices were so quiet and dim, so lifeless and lonely. It's so different from the busy but lively and bright atmosphere of the past.

 _Life was dull without him,_ she concluded.

She stepped towards the nameplates once again and found his name missing. She saw her name back on the Chief of Surgery office and knew that she was back.

She doesn't need more time to decide because at that moment she knew what she wants.

_This time love wins._

She is going to bring her heart back. _(Yes, his handsome cardio thoracic surgeon needs to come back. She doesn't want anyone else fixing her broken heart.)_

And if this is a nightmare then she's going to make it a dream.


	3. Chapter 3

_With everything worn out, I travel through my memories_

* * *

Seven.

Six.

Inside the elevator it was cold and quiet as Audrey waited to reach the ground floor. She watched as the floor number decreased by each moment that passed.

Five.

Her fingers were playing at the hem of her blouse trying to calm her nervous heart. She didn't know what situation awaits her once the elevator door opens. Her decision was already final and she chose it without looking back. _Whatever it takes to see him again._

_Him_.

He was the sole reason she chose to risk it.

_Well, not really._ But he was a big part of it. If someone offered you a way to go back to the past who wouldn't try it? She would. She could change a lot of her mistakes in the past. Some mistakes that keep her awake at night.

She also could probably have a shot of happiness if she can change some decisions in the past. _Maybe_.

Four.

How far in the past would I be able to go back to? She wondered out loud. That unexpected first time, she travelled as far back when Jessica was still in Neil's life. It didn't bother Audrey if that's the timeline she will arrive at. They would break up eventually, she confidently told herself. All that matters is he is perfectly healthy and alive.

Three.

_But what if you both end up parting ways again in this different timeline? Could you handle the heartbreak for the second time around?_ The negative thoughts found her again.

"There's no bigger heartbreak than letting him die without fighting for his life," Audrey said to no one. She was holding on to his last words to her for a hint that he still loves her all this time. That if this damned earthquake didn't happen they could have probably found their way back to each other again.

_I could have spent a lifetime drinking whiskey with you._

There was a sad promise of a lifetime in those words. And it was enough for her to gain courage to take this unbelievable journey. She heard from someone before that if you love someone, you would prevent their death. Looks like it's her mission now.

"Time travel?" she laughs lightly. "Grief had turned me crazy,"

Two.

Audrey released a nervous sigh and gripped her bag tightly as she awaits the door opening.

One.

_Ding_

The elevator door opened revealing a slightly busy hallway that connects to the emergency room. Audrey could hear the usual calmness of the ER. Curiosity led her to walk towards it.

She took a peek through the glass doors and saw two nurses talking and laughing about something at their station. And then a curtain was drawn revealing the sole patient inside the ER at the moment. She doesn't seem to be in any critical situation so perhaps they let their coworker handle it alone.

_It's almost 10 in the evening._ Hopefully the calm atmosphere lasts throughout the night for the sake of the staff on graveyard duty.

She lingered for a while watching the male nurse take the patient's vitals. The ER is her paradise so even if she's not on duty her curiosity can't help it.

And then she caught him in her view. _Him_. The person she wanted to see the most. The person that makes her feel different kinds of emotions at the moment.

She watched him as he tended to his patient. He must have felt eyes on him as he glanced up and caught her staring at him. He looked surprised to see her there but it was quickly replaced by a small smile as he focused back his attention to his patient.

Feeling flabbergasted by being caught staring, Audrey decided to leave the ER. Seeing him in flesh, alive and healthy was enough for her to know that the time travel worked well. Although she couldn't figure at the moment where in the past was this moment.

She was about to exit at the back lobby when she heard someone calling her name. She turned around to see Neil catching up on her. She observed him as he caught his breath after running to reach her.

Audrey wanted to hug him, to never let go of him… but he might find it inappropriate at the time. No one would ever believe her story that she time travelled to see her ex boyfriend that she still loves so much.

"Why are you here?" Neil asked her.

_To see you._ She could have simply told him that. "I'm going home, " she gave the most obvious and safest answer instead.

"I didn't know you'll be discharged this early," he said, surprised. "Didn't I tell you I'll drive you home?" this time he whispered.

She was confused for a moment but eventually realized that this was the time when she got the virus. The night when she was discharged didn't happen like this.

_The moment her discharge papers were done and she was given the green light to go, Audrey went to her office to pack her stuff. When she was done, she grabbed her phone and sent Neil a message._

_'I'm done. You ready?'_

_Few seconds later she grinned when she received his message._

_'Been waiting forever for you.'_

_Her heart skipped a beat whether it was him teasing her for taking so long to be discharged or him pointing towards their ten year slow burn relationship._ _She grabbed her backpack and left her office. Their offices were near each other when they were still both attending physicians. Audrey could see him through her glass walls back then in her old office._

_The moment she passed by his office she glanced at him and smiled when their eyes met before quickly heading towards the elevator. A minute later, a giddy Neil exited his office and rode the second elevator on the floor._

_They were supposed to meet inside the dim parking lot of the hospital, away from the prying eyes of their colleagues. But Audrey was caught by one of the nurses and insisted on escorting her to the lobby like the usual patient she was on a wheelchair._

_She can't say no but decided to exit through the back lobby instead where Neil's car would pass by._

"I-I thought you still have work to do," Audrey said wishing he would buy her excuse. She really didn't know what to expect and her only instinct was to find him once she stepped out of that elevator moments ago.

She just arrived and she already caused a few changes on the original timeline. She didn't know if this is a good or bad thing.

Neil glanced at his wristwatch and told her, "My shift is about to end. Could you wait for me? I'll just go get my stuff,"

With a simple nod Neil hurriedly ran to his office. Minutes later, Audrey didn't need to worry how much she changed the timeline. When Neil's car stopped in front of her, she knew that she's back on track.

The ride was quiet but comfortable. Audrey leaned her head as she watched Neil drive. Unlike the big giddy smile she had before, this time her emotions were all mixed up. But it was reflected with a small content smile.

"You hungry? I'm sure you want to taste some real food now," he asked her without taking his eyes off the road.

"Hmmm. I do but right now I just want to finally go home," _And process everything in my mind… I'll make sure I'll make no regrets this time._

Neil stole a glance at her noticing the sudden change of her mood. With his right hand he reached hers and laced their hands together.

She appreciated the comforting gesture and offered him a smile. She knew where this conversation was headed to.

"You had me scared back there you know. If it wasn't for my patient I might have broken into the ER."

"Morgan and Murphy were there," she comforted. "And Park helped too,"

"Yeah but you're the most senior doctor out there, and yet you got sick. No offense to them but I was really worried about you," he sounded a little agitated.

"I could trust those three residents to save their poor attending physician's life, Morgan mostly… " she reasoned.

Neil didn't reply but Audrey was confident that this conversation wouldn't lead to another episode of bickering of theirs. When he paused before the stoplight he turned his attention to her.

"I know… and I'm sorry. I just… I was scared you would die like the previous ones. You know I-," he paused looking into her eyes. "I can't imagine life without you," he mentally cringed the moment he uttered the words.

"I know this sounds so cheesy and it's not your thing… but I really mean it. I know we just got together so it might be too early to be clingy like this but, Audrey, you've been part of my life for the last decade. Whether as rivals or friends, it's your presence that I've been used to. I'm going to be so devastated if you died back there…" he trailed off.

Audrey understands him perfectly. But what he felt during her ordeal with the virus might be comparable to what she felt with Neil's injury. Probably much worse though, because Audrey could tell that his condition worsened by the time he seeked treatment. The hopelessness and all the goodbyes were painful for her. She didn't know how she managed to put a brave face every time she entered his room before. When he died, that's when her heart broke the most. She cried for him every night until there's no more tears left. But grief won't heal just by crying.

She cupped his face with her hands and kissed him softly. "Neil I survived…" _And you should too. Promise me._

"I'm sorry that I scared you so much there but I am here now. And here we are now," she mentioned hinting about them finally getting together.

"I got a second chance at life," Audrey said repeating the same words she uttered back then, but this time it looks like her _third_ chance.

"And I got a chance to be your boyfriend," Neil finally smiled and leaned to give her a kiss but both jumped apart when they heard the car beeping behind them. The signal turned green already.

Feeling silly at being caught, Neil resumed driving while his other hand found its way back to hers.

"So back to our topic before, I don't think there's some real food in your refrigerator right now," he teased.

Audrey smiled. "Yeah, I guess. Might need to do some cleaning too. Foods I stocked the last time I was home might not be edible anymore."

"Do you need a hand?" he offered.

She stared at him considering his offer. "Aren't you tired?"

"I'm off duty tomorrow until the next," he answered.

"Okay..." she was glad at him offering his company when she first got discharged. That first weekend with them as a couple was one of the best days of their short lived relationship. She's looking forward to having another go with it, hoping this time it's much better. "...only if you like Chinese take-outs?" she raised her eyebrow.

"You know what I like," he agreed. Glancing at her quickly he added, "But tomorrow we will go to the grocery okay?"

Laughing at him, she rolled her eyes and began ordering for food on her phone.

The rest of the night was uneventful but comfortable just like what Audrey remembers before. It really seems like everything is repeating itself, with a few minimal changes of course. It changes when she does a little differently but it goes back on track… so far.

But what if she redo some bigger decisions she'll make in the coming months?

Would it be enough to steer him away from death?


End file.
